Non-binary Identities are Valid

As a non-binary trans person, my gender is invalidated from almost every direction. After all, my gender identity has been invalidated since I was a little kid and I was told in one way or another, over and over again, that I was supposed to be a girl. When I was 19, I was told I could either be a lesbian or a transgender male, but that talking about anything else in between or different was "weird" "gross" "freaky" and outwardly laughed at. After that, I pretty much stopped talking about it for 10 years. Today, being open and generally "out" as non-binary, I am invalidated when people use the wrong pronouns, call me "miss" or "ma'am" or "lady," refer to me as part of a group of women, etc. It's one thing to be invalidated by strangers. That's easier to shrug off. It's another thing to be invalidated by people closer to you. These seemingly small things remind me every day that I am not seen as who I really am.

Some ways to combat non-binary erasure in your everyday life:

• Avoid assuming people's gender! This is a good idea all around.
• Practice using gender-neutral language! Don't use "ladies" or "gentlemen" or other gendered words for a group of people if you aren't certain of each individual's gender. How about "folks" or "everyone"? Don't use "sir" or "ma'am" or other gendered words for people you don't know (sometimes when I get "ma'amed" I want to poke people in the eye! No offense. I probably won't.) Don't say "boys and girls," or "ladies and gents." How about, "children," or "my good people!" 
• Don't assume pronouns, and use the correct pronouns even if they are challenging for you! 
• Remember to consider non-binary people when talking about gender issues and/or trans issues. If you are talking about bathrooms, for example, remember that the issue is not just about allowing people to use the facility that matches their gender, it is also about non-binary people not having an option that matches their gender at all! When discussing children, parenting, and schools, don't forget that some of those trans kids may be non-binary! 

Model this for your children, for your friends and family, and your coworkers!

Non-binary people exist and are valid.

[image description: drawing of a person with their hands raised and eyes closed,
a solemn look on their face. A banner below says "DO NOT ERASE NON BINARY
PEOPLE."] image from dakshinadeer on Redbubble.com

There are many different non-binary identities that people might claim, and sometimes people might change what they say their gender is (I used to use the term genderfluid, because my gender feels fluid in some ways, but I stopped using that when I realized that I do not experience my gender fluctuating from one gender to another as clearly as many people do who identify as genderfluid). Even if someone is uncertain about their gender or changes their mind about what term to use, their identity is valid. It can be confusing to explore all these different new terms in a world where we were taught the binary was the only way.

Why are some people so skeptical of non-binary identities?

Well, to start with the obvious, we were raised in a society that says there are only two genders--male and female. It can be hard to unlearn these concepts that have been so ingrained starting in early childhood.

Unfortunately, it is not just cis people who erase or invalidate non-binary identities. Some binary trans people are not accepting of non-binary trans people. I hope this is not the case for the most part, and I haven't experienced this in my personal life, but I certainly have run into this online. This especially comes up when someone doesn't want to or can't medically transition, or when they don't want to fully medically transition (this also affects binary trans people who can't or don't want to medically transition).

Sometimes this invalidation comes from other non-binary people! Look out for the gender police! Are you trans enough? Are you genderqueer the same way as me? I think this comes from internalized transphobia and feeling insecure about one's own identity being validated. It's sad when I see this happen, though.

[image description: the face of a snarling wolf and the words, "NO GENDER POLICE ALLOWED."]

If you are skeptical of non-binary identities, whether intentional or not, do some research. Non-binary people have existed throughout world history. The rise of patriarchal oppressive (and often Christian) governments and ruling class is what snuffed out the visibility of trans people, as being trans was considered a threat to the ruling class of men, and seen as a pagan practice. Joan of Arc, for example, was burned at the stake because they would not cease dressing in men's clothing, and were therefore considered pagan and dangerous to the patriarchy. Many Native American tribes also recognize more than two genders, as do/did many other cultures around the world. If you are interested in learning more, an excellent starting point is Leslie Feinberg's "Transgender Warriors: Making History from Joan of Arc to Dennis Rodman." I know there are many other books and works out there on this subject that I have yet to explore! If you have some to suggest, please share them in the comments!

Transgender Day of Remembrance & Resilience 2015

[image description: a lit candle with the image of the transgender flag across it and the words "Transgender Day of Remembrance" above.]

Today is Transgender Day of Remembrance/Resilience. Over 271 trans people were murdered this past year. We know the number is higher, as many of these tragedies go unreported. Here is a list and some brief details about the lives lost. The folks most at risk for being victims of violence are trans feminine people of color. We also must remember those whose lives were lost to suicide. That number is much higher. We must also fight for those still here and struggling. Trans sex workers, immigrants, prisoners, youth, and trans people with disabilities all face heightened oppression and violence. Tonight, my family and I will go to a vigil to honor the lives lost and support our community (for those of you in Eugene, here is the event). I'm remembering a phrase I read on a Micah Bazant poster for Cece McDonald: "Honor our dead and fight like hell for the living!" That has been ringing in my ears. That is what this day is about. 

Poster by Micah Bazant [image description: a painting of two trans feminine people of color standing each with a hand on their hip and an arm around each other. An outline of a city-scape and cop cars are seen behind them. The words "Remember Trans Power. Fight for trans Lives." are written above.]

There are many good people who would like to be or claim to be allies to the transgender community. There are members of the trans community like myself who do not face nearly the same amount of oppression and violence as some of our more marginalized trans siblings. We must all come together and find ways to fight for trans justice and freedom. Today, I challenge you to ask yourself: What are you doing to support the trans community? What are you doing to protect trans lives? 

Poster by Rommy Torrico for the TransLatin@ Coalition in the USA and the Transgender Day of Resilience Art Project.[image description: a poster of an angel of a trans feminine person of color floating above a cityscape looking up with one arm raised and flowers in their hand. A banner above reads "Trans Power" and the words around their halo say, "in celebration and honor of trans lives." The words to their left are "resistance, amor, community, seguridad, strength, orgullo," and to the right are, "power, felicidad, belleza, liberation, celebration." A banner at the bottom of her white gown reads, "Trans is Beautiful." The words on the dark buildings below read "Death, violence, persecution, detention, fear, humiliation, rape."]

Existence as Rebellion: Black Trans Lives Matter!

[Image Description: Jennicet Guitiérrez waves a transgender
flag (pink, blue, and white stripes), wearing a shirt that reads:
"Mi existir es resistir," with people waving trans and rainbow
flags in the background.]

Black trans women are facing a daily threat of violence in the U.S.  If you don't already know that by now, please realize you need some new news sources (a good place to start will be some of the articles I link to in this post!). The number of trans people (mostly trans women of color) murdered in the U.S. this year has reached 22. That's only the murders we know about. It doesn't include the cases where the victim was not reported as being transgender and it doesn't include the many other tragic deaths from suicides, overdoses, homelessness, etc. This doesn't take into account what trans women face in immigration centers and in deportation.

[Image description: Actress Kitana Kiki Rodriguez stands
in the forground with her hand on her hip, and actress Mya
Taylor stands behind her, against a brightly painted wall] from
Magnolia Pictures' Tangerine.

I recently watched the film Tangerine. It is an amazing film, shot on an iphone, but more impressively (because sadly this is unusual) the characters were played by actors who are trans women of color. It is a film about trans women of color who are sex workers, their (mis)adventures, the way society interacts with them, and most of all their friendship. The acting was fantastic and the characters felt really real to me. The film does not focus on violence this population faces, but it does show some of the harsh realities. These characters (as often happens from really good movies or books, and sometimes TV shows--ehem--Sense8) stayed with me for the next several days, during which I read the news of Kiesha Jenkins being beaten and then shot to death. I thought about the strength of the characters in the film Tangerine and I thought about the strength of all the trans women of color I have come into contact with, both in real life and through online trans support communities; the strength necessary to face such a violent world everyday. I thought about the lives lost, the constant threat of violence, and my heart broke to pieces, again. The visibility in movies like Tangerine is wonderful, the dialogue through hashtags such as #BlackTransLivesMatter and #SayHerName is important, but the hate crimes and violence are still more prevalent than ever.

[Image Description: A selfie photo of Kiesha Jenkins, wearing
a black shirt and a black hat, smiling with her hand next to her
face, with black and blonde hair under a black brim of a hat]

This is a CRISIS. We all need to take action to stop this from happening. Here is a really great article written by a latina trans woman, Lexi Adsit: "24 Actions You NEED to Take to Help Trans Women of Color Survive." This is something I think everyone must read. There ARE things you can do to make a difference. Don't just say, "That's sad," and move on. Be an ally. Talk to your kids about gender diversity, trans issues, and racism. Speak out against oppression, transmisogyny, transphobia, racism, and bigotry. As it says on the TransWomen of Color Collective website, "Every breath a trans person of color takes is an act of revolution." It is up to all of us to actively work for the safety of trans people, especially trans women of color. It is important to recognize the intersections of oppression and discrimination. Trans people of color face more violence, incarceration, joblessness, homelessness, and murders than white trans people. It is important to recognize this and work to be better allies and more inclusive in trans spaces, as well as everywhere else. We must always lift up the voices and fight for the rights of the most oppressed.